In one of my previous reviews I visited the MBTA’s South Station, and I had to deal with the six gates of poo hell. This time I had a much more pleasant experience. In another review I talked about eating a Bacon Egg and Cheese Breakfast Bagel from McDonald’s as part of my pre-trip ritual. I had more time to kill before I left for my current out-of-state-trip, and the little bastard snuck up on me sooner than I would have liked. However, if it wasn’t for the little bagel sandwich, I wouldn’t have found our next spot: The South Station Bus Terminal.
The prospect of walking into a major city’s bus terminal to take a dump had me a little unnerved. Especially after going into the other bathroom in the same complex. Upon first stepping into the bus terminal’s bathroom I was actually impressed! The bathroom was open and large, and had very nice, bright colors, also this bathroom’s fixtures seemed to be both; working order and plentiful.
I was actually awestruck as to how clean this bathroom is. Maybe it is an anomaly because it was around nine o’clock in the morning. Even though it was past rush hour, it was still clean by our standards. There didn’t seem to be the familiar puddles of piss lying on the ground, and there were only a few small pieces of toilet paper strewn around by the receptacles.
There were plentiful stalls to choose from too. Actually there is five in total. I opted to go into the first stall that I could. Which was the furthest one to the right. Inside of the stall, there were coat hooks to hang your bags and your coat on. I didn’t exactly feel comfortable in here however; the stalls were a little too small for my liking. There was enough room for you to put your elbows out and move around, but it felt a little too restrictive.
The décor was actually nice by bus station standards. The walls were a muted grey-blue tile with a brown boarder running across the top of the walls. The floor had a speckled peach and brown squares forming an even larger squares around the entire floor. The actual speckled colors were; black, white, brown, and beige. I know it may sound awful, but it actually didn’t look all that bad.
What was really bad however, was the god-awful one-ply toilet paper they stock in this facility. I had a hard time bunching it up, and I had an equally hard time trying to fold it to wipe my ass with. It just felt cheap. After putting the toilet paper next to my arm (unused of course) I could actually see through it. This type of paper is not going to feel very well on anyone’s asshole. It was quite cheap and uncomfortable, leading the cleanup process of your poo-time into unfriendly territory.
The real kicker for this bathroom is just how busy it is. I was able to snap some pictures of the bathroom with no one in them. Four of the five stalls were being used, and once I was in mine, the flood gates opened up. I could hear the sounds of the Dyson Airblades going off from people drying their hands. If you are a little timid when it comes to pooping in public, then I would say that a bus station hub is probably not the place to lay down your logs. I would opt for a more intimate setting than this one.
Now with that being said, the clean-up process was all automated. The flusher was automated, and so was the sinks, and soap dispensers. There were a total of four Dyson Airblades in this bathroom, two on each wall. There were also little tables across from the sinks so you can change your baby’s diapers too.
And just like that I was done with my business and ready to jet off to my next destpoonation. So why don’t we see how the South Station Bus Terminal faired in our Secret Shitter Review? Remember that these are out of a possible five stars.
|Number of Stalls||5|
|Toilet Paper Quality||1|
The South Station Bus Terminal scores a solid 3.5 on our Secret Shitter Review. For it being a highly trafficked bathroom it was very clean. It also had more than enough stalls to satisfy the amount of people coming through here. It also boasted four Dyson Airblades! That is the most Dyson’s we have seen to date! However, it was very busy when I was duking in there. It wasn’t just a few people either, I mean A LOT of people came into there. So just by that alone it is going to go down a few points. I did like the little urinal cubbies they had off to the side. I thought that was nice. I also really liked the décor, even though the floor design and color scheme seemed a bit tacky. I am surprised that this scored so high on the scale to be honest. I figured it would be a literal dumpster fire. Sometimes even a seasoned pro like myself gets surprised, which is why we investigate everywhere in these reviews. So if you happen to be in the area of South Station, this is actually a great place to go and take a dump. I can’t imagine why it wouldn’t be either. Most of the traffic gets syphoned through the train station anyways. So the bus station has a lot less people by comparison. Thus, the MBTA treats this like a station they should clean frequently. It seems like there is enough sanitation staff to go around here. Well at least at nine in the morning. So to conclude, you can totally shit here, and it totally only sucks just a tiny bit.
Like what you see? Well tell people about us! I just made a Tumblr. If anyone likes that? Just look for “SecretShitterOfficial” and that is us! Also I am considering making some “Secret Shitter’s Shitty Postcards” if you want some, answer the poll below. If there is enough demand, then I will do it. If you also didn’t notice, the website has undergone some changes, we just switched over to a new web host, and all of the pictures are kind of wonky. Well, only the “featured” ones anyhow. So I guess I am going to have to go back and fix 40 of them, plus work on pictures for the next 40 or so posts. So why did I tell you that last bit? I did that so I could say “thank you for your patience and understanding”. So with that said, I will see you again Friday for the Rhode Island: Providence Athaenum.